Terms & refunds

Preview version, last updated October 29, 2026. These terms will be reviewed before real lots go on sale.

1. Preview mode, right now

The site is in preview. Every bid is a practice bid. We take no card details, charge no money and ship nothing. Lots marked "sample" are examples and are not for sale. When real auctions start, the banner at the top of the page will go away and these terms will be updated first.

2. How the auction works

• One lot a day. Bidding runs from 12:00 PM ET to 12:00 PM ET the next day, unless the lot page says otherwise.
• Every auction is with reserve. We show only whether the reserve is met or not met. If it is not met, the lot does not sell.
• Bids go up by the increments shown on the site. The server checks every bid against the current minimum.
• Soft close: a bid placed in the last 2 minutes adds 2 minutes to the clock. This can happen more than once.
• You can set a private max bid. We then bid for you, one increment at a time, up to your max. If two max bids are equal, the earlier one wins.
• Bids are public and shown by handle, with the amount and time.

3. Fair bidding

• Bidding is free. We never charge to bid, never sell bid packs and never charge entry fees.
• We, our makers and our staff never bid on our own lots, and we do not use bots or shill bidders.
• No raffles, random winners or mystery lots.
• We may remove bids from handles that impersonate someone, look automated or break these terms. Handles are not verified during the preview.

4. When real payments are on (not yet)

When real auctions start, you will save a card when you place your first bid, with clear consent. Your card is charged only if you win. If the winner's payment fails, we may offer the lot to the next-highest bidder at their own bid for 24 hours. A winning bid is a commitment to pay. If you need to retract a bid because of a clear typo, contact us before the soft-close window and we will review it.

5. Refunds

Lots are custom-made, one-of-one objects, so all sales are final. We do not accept returns for change of mind.

If your item arrives defective or damaged, or never arrives, we refund you in full. Contact us as soon as you notice the problem.

Each lot states a ship window. If we cannot ship within it, we will tell you, and you can choose to wait or get a full refund.

6. What you are buying

An art object and a joke. Not an investment. We make no promise about resale value, and any certificate, NFC tag or onchain record that comes with a lot is a record of provenance, not an asset. Materials are described honestly (for example, "vermeil" means gold over sterling silver, never "gold"). Sales tax is added where it applies.

7. Your data

We store your handle, your bids and their times, and a one-way hash of your IP address for rate limiting and abuse prevention. Bids and handles are public. We do not sell your data.

8. Eligibility

You must be 18 or older to bid in real auctions. We may refuse or cancel bids that break these terms.